State of the Nation

Nobody in Britain has won a general election in thirty years. Parties no longer gain power because of their brilliant alternative visions or their brave new policies, but because the electorate gets fed up with their ever-improving lot and adopts a grass-is-greener mentality. We don’t so much vote in elections as vote for evictions, Big Brother style. 

Then the new boss – same as the old boss – simply reverses all the policies it opposed in government except the ones it thinks might lose votes. Every now and again somebody – yesterday it was David Cameron - tries to pretend they are truly different, but then carries on with policies such as the so-called Bedroom Tax with no hope of achieving anything whatsoever except maximising resentment… on all sides. 

We are a rich and generous nation; British fair play was once a watchword for civilised behaviour the world over and whatever the recent re-writing of history tells us, the world actually once was a far better place for having Britain in it. Not any more it seems, because as we get sucked further into the Eurobattoir mincing machine we come out the exact same nondescript shade of minced horsemeat as any other. 

I walked down Town Street in the People’s Socialist Republic of Armley on Saturday and discovered my old veg shop is now a Polish food market. On the same short row two other shops are also now ‘international’. What colour, what joy, comrades! But at least they serve customers who actually came to Britain to find work; we should be grateful. 

But no; the natives sit around in tee-shirts and shorts in winter, the heating paid for by those who have to choose whether to eat or heat and they don't give a damn. Occupying council houses larger than they might actually need, while those who pay their own rent make do only with what they can afford is unjustifiable. But so, too, is evicting people from lifelong homes. 

The coalition must have anticipated this reaction, so the only conclusion is that, along with Pastygate and Plebgate, the so-called Bedroom Tax is actually intended to throw away the last chance we have to govern ourselves. Despite a dire need for some radical reforms the Conservatives have failed to dominate their minority partner in government and curb the crippling welfare state.

It all feels so nineteen-seventies again; even more so with the looming threat of a possible energy crisis. So it is simply incredible that, against the backdrop of this new resurgent class war, we are about to open our borders wide to people who will not be coming here to work and will not have even a morsel of whatever meagre scraps of British scruples remain intact. We are going to sell our country into a form of economic slavery to an ideal so far removed from British values it may as well be a simple tyranny. 

You won’t lurch to the right, Dave? Charming choice of word, but you won’t need to – you’ll be nudged off your perch in 2015 when the Conservative Party loses their last ever general election. Shortly thereafter we will be quietly subsumed into an EU government. Of course, ersatz elections will continue, maybe even for a decade or so, but whatever you call it, the government will never change again. 

On Saturday night, after my stroll among the proles, I joined UKIP. I may not vote for my local candidate – the incumbent Labour puppet is, after all, the adenoidal Edbot, Rachel Reeves, who has a massive majority - but I will back whoever will give me the best chance I will see in my lifetime for me to say NO to Europe. 

I don’t think the Conservatives have a hope in hell of getting back in as it stands, so only one party currently offers even the faintest glimmer of hope that we can register a desire to retain our sovereignty… How much longer will we even be allowed to have a monarch? I wouldn’t be surprised if, right now, the Queen is shitting herself.