Monday 1 August 2011

Feeding the Famine

Always ready to help, I have a fix for world famine.

No doubt you think you've spotted a flaw in the sniper solution? What to do with the carnage? No problem. Not only is it not a problem, it is actually a great opportunity. Goods get re-distributed, so there will always be a healthy market in pre-enjoyed possessions and no doubt entrepreneurs will quickly arrive on the scene to kick-start that process. As for the carcasses, why waste good meat?

Of course it sounds a bit off-colour but have you seen what the processed food industry manages to make you eat. I'm sure that 'long pig' will be effectively assimilated into the food chain and in any case, if you are fussy there are plenty of people who are not.

And of course, while some of the offenders against my regime might possibly be missed, what better consolation for their relatives that, as well as acting as a superb deterrent against further aberrant activity, they continue post-animation to atone for their ways.

And, as obesity will in itself be a crime, we can maintain society's poorest by feeding the fat to the feckless.

No need to thank me.

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